I'm thinking of making a big switch in my job... From shift to office hours and from acute settings to a more personal care setting but.... I'm not sure if i should make this huge change....
1. I'm worried tat i may not like the job scope but it be slower pace then where i'm in now.
2. It be office hours so i get fixed time and i'll get weekends and all my PHs!!! Yappy...
3. The sister may not be nice to work with but amm guess most of the things i'll be doing on my own so wat's there to worry.. Maybe suffer in the beginning as she may not want to share her knowledge with me but information can be found every where.. Just need take more steps to find an answer but if there's a will there's a way.... I survived till now anyway.. Wat's new... Moreover who can be worst then the ones i'm facing now...
4. Sob Sob.. Lesser pay... PAY CUT!!! But cannot complain cuz the benefit of fix work time... The extras i earn is from the odd hours i work all these years...
All in all.. I feel im a little bias in wat im writing cuz all i feel now is i wat to get out of that freaking place who only make use of me to the fullest!!!! This world is never fair i know but this ward i'm in is tooo much...
Not like i didn't contribute or put in effort to prove i can but all i did, credit is taken away and i cannot even make a single noise...
PPl get to go conference, even ppl more junior then me went but me? Nothing... Not even a chance...
I get push around cuz got enough staff inside so i'm send out to work... They called me EXTRAs...
I get chances when she got no one else in mind to... SO im a backup... But she put to me tat is like well u are so so but i'm giving u this chance... SO be it i feel like spiting in out on her face... If i'm tat bad then ask the rest... Why me.. Safe the humiliation and discouragement cuz i don't feel tat i'm bad... PPL in her fave books are ppl who cannot work but only good at talking and bluffing their way around at work and make others clear their shit... These are the bunch which she feels they are good.... PPl who work their asss off at work she cannot see...
I feel dishearten to go to work each day and feel very upset.. Tears fall off my cheeks at times when i travel to work for no reason and i feel depressed at work most of the time now a days...
THose who can work are my friends at work but we are deliberately being put on different shifts..
I ask myself this question everyday.. Why I"M still in this bloody place call helll... ANS: I don't know.... I really don't know.... Before my advance Dip i asked myself this question too, i was in serious depression tat time as nothing could make me smile at all at work.... But i stayed on.... 8 years i have been suffering and still the same question pops up and the ans is always the same... "I DONT KNOW WHY I AM HANGING ON TO THIS PLACE"
THe only thing i"ll miss would prob be the friends whom have guided me and supported me through all these 8 years and without them i'll not have survived!!
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